Laughing at the Dehumanisation of Dating Apps (Instead of Crying!)
There was a time, not long ago, but already sepia-toned in the cultural imagination, when romance involved at least a mild degree of mystery. You might meet someone at a party and spend the evening wondering what they did for a living, whether they liked dogs, and why they laughed just a little too hard at your mediocre joke about olives. You would go home with questions. Delicious, maddening, human questions.
Now, of course, you go home with a thumb cramp.
Dating apps have streamlined romance with the ruthless efficiency of a supermarket self-checkout. Potential partners glide past like discounted avocados: inspect, reject, reject, reject, “maybe later,” reject. In theory, this is progress. In practice, it feels suspiciously like sorting recyclable materials: plastic here, glass there, humans everywhere but nowhere in particular.
Relationship trade-offs: We all do the sums in our heads.
If you’ve ever tried dating in the modern world, you’ve probably asked yourself at least one of the following questions:
“Is it shallow to prefer someone attractive… if I also pretend to value personality?”
“Does a six-figure salary offset a four-figure hairline?”
“If someone looks like a marble statue carved by angels but texts back once every election cycle… what is the exchange rate on that?”
Welcome to the thrilling and sometimes terrifying world of relationship trade-offs.