Relationship trade-offs: We all do the sums in our heads.
Rich older men and glamorous younger women. One example of a relationship trade-off.
If you’ve ever tried dating in the modern world, you’ve probably asked yourself at least one of the following questions:
“Is it shallow to prefer someone attractive… if I also pretend to value personality?”
“Does a six-figure salary offset a four-figure hairline?”
“If someone looks like a marble statue carved by angels but texts back once every presidential election cycle… what is the exchange rate on that?”
Welcome to the thrilling and sometimes terrifying world of relationship trade-offs.
Most of us make these calculations without thinking, guided by a mix of instinct, insecurity, optimism, and whatever advice our last therapist gave us during that emotional session. But the new fiction book The Attraction Abacus asks: what if these calculations were done for us?
Yes, quantifying love. If people can rate avocados for ripeness, why not do the same for romance?
Age vs. Wealth: The Timeless Trade-Off
Age and wealth have been linked in relationships since the beginning of civilization. It might be nature’s oldest exchange:
Younger partner brings: radiant skin, high energy, ability to understand TikTok
Older partner brings: stability, wisdom, and a retirement plan that (hopefully) survived the crypto winter
It’s not gold-digging. It’s more like wealth redistribution, just with some flirting involved.
In The Attraction Abacus, age and wealth get numerical scores. Which means you can finally answer questions like:
Is being 12 years older but owning property a net positive?
Does the ability to pay for dinner every time cancel out the fact that you grunt while standing up?How many crow’s feet equal one yacht?
If you do the sums, maybe 17. Emotionally, it feels like too many.
Attractiveness vs. Effort: The Eternal Equation
Some people are naturally attractive. Others live near a 24-hour gym and stock up on skincare products. And some of us just do our best.
Here’s the basic rule of the attractiveness/effort economy:
Hot people: need only exist.
The rest of us need to work on our personalities, pick up hobbies, find good lighting, and use the right camera angles.
So which matters more: looking like a Greek god or acting like a decent human being who remembers birthdays?
The Attraction Abacus turns this into a scoring system, letting you make calculations like:
If someone is a “9” in looks but a “2” in effort, are they still dateable?
If someone is a “6” in looks but a “10” in emotional availability, do they become irresistible?
Can a charming personality compensate for a wardrobe composed entirely of irony-free cargo shorts?
The answer is yes, but only if the pockets are filled with snacks.
Charm vs. Chaos: The Personality Paradox
We all know someone who is fun, spontaneous, and magnetic, but also a complete disaster. This is the charm-versus-chaos balance:
High charm / high chaos: intoxicating but dangerous
Medium charm / low chaos: relationship material
Low charm / high chaos: professional pyromaniac
The Attraction Abacus helps you figure out just how much chaos you’re willing to accept in exchange for charm, including:
How many last-minute plan cancellations are offset by irresistible wit?
Does adventurous energy compensate for the fact they never remember where they parked?
If they call you “their muse,” does that erase the memory of their unmatched laundry pile?
A fun fact from the book: charm starts to lose its appeal after the third red flag.
Ambition vs. Availability: The Schedule Shuffle
Is it better to date someone who’s always available but has no goals, or someone who’s off achieving greatness but answers text messages like they’re paid per minute of delay?
Every relationship is a tug-of-war between:
Ambitious people: “I can see you Tuesday 11 weeks from now.”
Available people: “I can see you now. Also later. Also whenever. Forever.”
The Attraction Abacus tries to figure out what a balanced ambition score looks like: ambitious enough to be inspiring, but not so ambitious that you just watch them speed by on the road to success.
The Ultimate Dating Rating: Love, Now With Numbers
The central idea of The Attraction Abacus is simple:
Love may be mysterious… but attraction is measurable. As a single dating score out of 100.
It gives fictional characters a numeric dating rating based on:
Looks
Wealth
Personality
Age
Effort
Chaos level
Ambition
And a few secret variables that really should be included on public profiles
Is it scientific? Not even slightly.
Is it accurate? More than we want to admit.
Is it hilarious, absurd, occasionally too real, and definitely worth reading? Absolutely.
The Attraction Abacus. A hilarious new romantic comedy.
