Laughing at the Dehumanisation of Dating Apps (Instead of Crying!)

There was a time, not long ago, but already sepia-toned in the cultural imagination, when romance involved at least a mild degree of mystery. You might meet someone at a party and spend the evening wondering what they did for a living, whether they liked dogs, and why they laughed just a little too hard at your mediocre joke about olives. You would go home with questions. Delicious, maddening, human questions.

Now, of course, you go home with a thumb cramp.

Dating apps have streamlined romance with the ruthless efficiency of a supermarket self-checkout. Potential partners glide past like discounted avocados: inspect, reject, reject, reject, “maybe later,” reject. In theory, this is progress. In practice, it feels suspiciously like sorting recyclable materials: plastic here, glass there, humans everywhere but nowhere in particular.